Debut Day! | Schlitz and Giggles

Today is a landmark day at the Schlitz & Giggles Brewery. Our new beer is making its debut on store shelves!

Meadow Muffin Brown Ale is a medium-bodied beer that has hints of chocolate and malt. Our secret ingredient adds that hint of spice, which gives a kick to the overall smooth flavor of the beer.

We decided on the name Meadow Muffin, because we wanted to give back. This brown ale is a tribute to the average American farmer who has gone through tough times. The American economic troubles have taken its toll on many Americans, but few have been hit harder than the farmer. So we have decided to donate 10% of all proceeds to the Certified Horticultural and Agricultural Farmer Fund (CHAFF) to help revive the fledging agricultural industry.

We are also rolling out each bottle with a specialized code on the label that could enter you into the drawing for a $1 million grand prize. You will see a QR code like the one below on each specially-marked bottle:

All you have to do is snap it and send it to WIN-BIG (946-244) for your chance to win!

We hope you have as much fun drinking our Meadow Muffin as we did making it and, as always, drink this Schlitz responsibly!

Unique Piece | Schlitz and Giggles

Our Marketing campaign has hit America’s heartland! The following newspaper article was found on the Omaha World-Herald website (omaha.com):

Published Tuesday, November 30, 2011

Guerilla Marketing for Beer Draws Buzz

By Roem Niodar
WORLD-HERALD STAFF WRITER

In what some are calling the most bizarre marketing to ever be featured in Nebraska, a small farm about 20 miles outside Omaha is the site of a buzz-worthy billboard that asks more questions than it answers.

The Jones Farm & Ranch in neighboring Fremont, NE is currently playing host to the billboard planted seemingly overnight on a reserved plain of land. Featuring the text “What is Meadow Muffin?” the billboard is signed by Schlitz & Giggles, an up-and-coming American brewery that is fast becoming a household name.

Established in early 2011, this brewery’s fast-track to success can be traced back to its board of presidents. Known for their marketing prowess and willingness to take risks, these innovators are no doubt the ones behind this billboard, which should be no surprise to the business leaders who are familiar with the workings of the board.

With the brewery’s newest beer slated to make a December 9th launch, this is no doubt an attempt to create buzz for their highly-touted product. Industry leaders are speculating as to what this beer will be called, and this billboard gives a glimpse into what exactly this beer might be.

As a slang term, “meadow muffin” is used by farmers to describe animal waste left in the fields, most commonly by cows. While not terribly appealing to the ears, this question is further churning the rumor mill as to what the new Schlitz & Giggles beer flavor will be.

While many questions may still be in the air, most will not get them answered until December 9th. Asked about the billboard, Kevin Jones, owner of the Jones Farm & Ranch, said, “I may not like it on my field, but I will definitely be waiting to see what this new beer is going to be. I’ll be sure to pick up a six pack the day it comes out.”

Damage Control | Schlitz & Giggles

As many of you already know, we at Schlitz & Giggles are on the verge of announcing our new beer. It is due to be introduced in late November, and production has already begun at our plant. To ensure a quality product, part of our brewing process is taping various quality assurance videos, which remain safe within our company.

However, our QA videos were unfortunately leaked to the news media outlets, showing bits and pieces of the process we used to make our mystery beer. While we wish that this source had chosen not to leak these videos, we figured it would just be better to roll with the punches. Luckily, not enough of our secret was divulged to discontinue our late November launch, and so we decided to post those videos on our blog.

Please keep in mind that, while many of the various steps were meant to be top secret, most of them can also be used to brew your own style of beer at home.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYBJsmyZVg4?rel=0]

This process is known as steeping (just like with tea). We use a muslin bag to pour our secret blend of barley and malts, and steep it in the bag of boiling hot water for about 20-30 minutes.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPA5I4yA0NE?rel=0]

Our master brewers then let the mixture of the water and spices boil over an open flame for about 30 minutes.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIAaKajG8Bs?rel=0]

The top-secret syrup is then added to the hot water, and the brewers make sure it is slowly poured in while stirring slowly to ensure it dissolves. Then the mixture boils for another 60 minutes. By the way, I recognize that dog… I may have just figured out who leaked this video!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IClDw0HH9y8?rel=0]

Then, 15 minutes before the hour of boiling is up, the master brewers add our bittering hops blend. After about 10 minutes, they then add flavoring hops to give it that extra Schlitz kick.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPDmko-9nbM?rel=0]

Following the boiling and adding of flavors, our brewers rapidly cool the mixture down to 80 degrees Fahrenheit in just 15 minutes to ensure all of the flavors are not boiled out.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcGxhthbSpA?rel=0]

Our mixture is then added to the fermenter along with water to make the complete brew. In this case, they added it to make 5 gallons of beer.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USE-YxpSY8w?rel=0]

This is the final result of the first half of brewing. The mixture stays in this fermenter for up to 2 weeks. The thing at the top is called an airlock, and it tells is if the brew is starting to ferment correctly.

These are the videos that were leaked, but luckily nothing incriminating came out of it. Now we just have to hope that no other video gets leaked… I think it’s about time we find the owner of that dog!

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Brewery Buzz | Schlitz & Giggles

Welcome to Schlitz & Giggles Brewery, your one-stop shop for everything Schlitz! Our brewery was founded in 2011 with one focus in mind: to brew good Schlitz that everyone would want. Thanks to the executives of the brewery, we are on our way to achieve that goal!

Meet the Executive Team

Our brewery was founded by some of the most fascinating and brilliant people on the planet, and we are lucky to have them as our leaders. No one knows beer like they do, and they put everything they have into making the best beer. Blood, sweat, and tears went into making every perfect brew (well, not literally… at least we hope not).


Lana Anderson

Growing up in the streets of Harlem, Lana’s childhood was atypical compared to the average American girl. She was raised by her parents, two retired black ops commanders, to be one of the best ninjas the world has ever seen. At age 14, she entered the Strongman Competition in South Africa and, after competing 3 straight days in a champion tug-of-war match, she came up victorious. She spent most of her adult life meditating in a dojo in South Korea, stopping only to eat, drink, and fight crime. To this day, her name still strikes fear into the minds of the world’s most notorious criminals… and squirrels.

 


Rudy Cantu

Rudy’s mysterious background prevents us from really knowing the man behind the hair, but here is what our contacts at the CIA were able to dig up. Legend has it that Rudy was raised by a pack of mangy wolves somewhere deep in the valleys surrounding the Weisshorn mountain of Switzerland. His upbringing forced him into a state of continuous alert and constant vigilance, allowing him to develop superhuman traits like 20/10 vision and the ability to leap 20 yards with little effort. Trained by the Columbian military at the ripe age of 11, Rudy became one of the most sought-after demolition experts in the Western hemisphere.

 


Jeff Kaller

Jeff is the definition of a “manly man.” Seriously, look it up. His picture is right next to the words “manly man” in Webster’s dictionary. Deep in the Everglades of southern Florida, Jeff, minutes after being born, went to work on building a log cabin for him and his family. The laborious project took all of 30 minutes to complete, and Jeff was sleeping in his own toddler suite by the end of the night. Growing up, he always got the ladies and it is rumored that he was unable to carry credit cards because his personality was so magnetic. School was a breeze for him: by 18 he was able to speak fluent French in Russian and his photographic memory is in HD.

 


Todd Miller

As a cryogenically frozen test tube baby, Todd was raised by the aboriginal Australian people on the outskirts of the Great Victorian Desert. By the age of 23, he was the first and only multi-sport athlete to win championships and MVP titles in the NBA, NFL, NHL, MLS, MLB, and WWE. As a runner, his world record speed for the 100 meter dash came in at 1.2 seconds – 23.3 seconds faster than the time he beat. During his teenage years, Todd spent his free time dabbling in various hobbies, including watercolors, basket weaving, and underwater shark fighting.

 


Darin Moore

One of the most intelligent men of the last 500 years, Darin’s keen intellect helped him in his childhood when he gained the highest honor at any higher education institution, a Doctorate in Brewery Science, at the age of 15. Working to invent several uses for his favorite liquid, he built and patented the beer-powered flying car in hopes of saving the world’s energy sources from depletion. At 21, he co-founded a secret government program called SNASA (Secret NASA) designed to launch the first American onto the surface of the moon (not the moon that everyone knows, but instead a secret moon that orbits the Earth invisible to the naked eye).

 

 

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